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Why Would Anyone Want to Live This Long?

by The Republic Of Wolves

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1.
Lens 01:55
you built a new home out of your old birthstone you don’t raise hell you can’t die well you drew a new hand out of the discard pile it’s non-fiction we’re not lived in ‘cause i made faces at the prophetess just to see my fortunes change (did it fix my fate?) should have replaced my temptation with a lonelier faith you dug your horns into the ground and felt it flee reluctantly wish that could be the end of me you simplified into sines and cosines you’re all blood cells shouting farewells you made a harbor out of the old trenchline it’s all fiction inscriptions kindling in the kiln but i’ve got envy for the arsonist ‘cause there’s always more to burn (is it still my turn?) must have misplaced my complexion in the previous verse you dug your horns into the ground and felt it flee reluctantly if all my heart was in your mouth could you bite down joyfully? wish that could be the end of me
2.
Nightjar 04:01
did your conviction make it past all that molasses in your blood? you’re overacting, you’re the captain that the sea got sick of if i’m examining the channels ’til my frequency comes up just throw my wondering five feet under so i’m not quite rid of cut my conscience into particles (your breath is thinning out) wring the life from all this ritual (abbreviate the hours) till your temper plagiarize your fear (time’s all we could denounce) i’ll be starving from here if you can’t face it then what has it all been for? you caught me breathing in the incense from the distance you devised saw me flinch when they unhinged you just before the tree line ‘cause i’m deceitful ’til i’m sleeping i’m a cheap marionette if i’m exceedingly uneven have i circled back yet? cut my conscience into particles (your breath is thinning out) wring the lie from all this ritual (abbreviate the hours) till your temper plagiarize your fear (time’s all we could denounce) i’ll be starving from here if you won’t forfeit then what was your intent? i made a wreck of myself made it to hell with my health laid out a perfect plan to live by my mistakes sew your secrets into parchment sheets bleed in cursive lowercase your speech break your posture synchronize your pain i’ll be minding my veins if you can’t change it let go of your fucking demur let go of it all and grow if this is hell well then it must be a godsend
3.
Veer 04:20
i know i’m not the strangest one in a room full of angels begging me to show my tongue shit i could’ve lost my lungs if i inhaled any more of what i was i heard they built a brand new sun and it burns like a birthright daring me to last a month hell i might’ve drowned in blood if they impaled who i’ve been with what i’ve done i won the war now i want more good lies to die for i’ll seal my fate and meditate on what the hell i’m doing awake we broke our necks at the commune straightened our spines like we had to it’s all “off with their heads” on repeat for centuries my feet keep seeking release from the concrete you can’t die on the eve of your death if i’m the sleepwalker who woke up what am i supposed to want to be? so i tried to carve a place for three in a mind going haywire big enough for each of me thought i made a damn good team but the exorcism was buy one get one free i won the war now i want more good lies to die for i’ll seal my fate and meditate on what the hell i’m doing awake i killed my pain and felt the same god loves a long game i’ll play the bait then ruminate on what the hell i’m suffering to save we broke our backs on repentance we’re cauterized and defenseless we made our beds and gouged our eyes and crucified our heroes we brushed our hair and bent our bones and repossessed our shadows screaming it can’t be real it can’t be real it can’t be i heard they built a brand new sun and it burns like a birthright daring me to be someone
4.
Idyll 02:14
come then, athena, with hand upraised over the pyre let the pots and all the dishes turn out well fired but if you turn shameless and leave the urns unfilled then i call together the destroyers of kilns shatter and smash and char and crash and crudeness who can work this craft much mischief and as a horse’s jaw grinds, so the clay of your mind will lament to be cinder and lime how ceramic is time? how luckless is life? what a cruelty to never unbind just don’t look inside don’t look inside don’t look inside there’s no truth you won’t find
5.
Sapphirine 03:40
was there some decision by committee that sleep is not fitting for me? will i cut and gnash at sunken pillars till my nerves ignore me? comatose, i suppose there was no chance of getting on the lifeboat i belong to whatever medicine they gave me to send my mind home but don’t look twice the ammunition is free whatever you can carry at least you’re god’s special soldier shooting arrows straight through the garden wall the apprehension is free it’s never been quite this cheap you’re some living legend seeking penance after the final call is there some procession of misfortune bound to smother us out like torches? do we lose our dreams to seething dawns the same way every morning? comatose, i suppose there was no point in waving down the lifeboat conjure up whatever remembrance you might need to weave a tightrope so don’t look twice it’s not regression it’s a cycle it’s not regression it’s a cycle it’s not regression it’s a cycle it’s not obsession if it’s all that you have time for it’s not the lifting, it’s the holding (tend your guilt) it’s not a moment till it’s stolen (lose your will) it’s not the bleeding it’s the keeping (your wounds clean) it’s not suspension if you already believe the apprehension is free it’s never been quite this cheap you’re some living legend seeking penance after the final page the ammunition is free whatever you can carry at least you’re god’s special soldier shooting arrows losing battles, stealing shadows taking shelter, making peace
6.
i spent a century on the run  from the mythography we made i should’ve gone another day came back to see the world without you everything was so serene ugliest thing i’ve ever seen they found the murder weapon in between the aching in your limbs bitten to pieces on a whim come back and read the poetry they dedicated to our bones prettiest thing they ever wrote (but i couldn’t cope) i’m a phantom and it’s not your fault (when i saw) made a mansion of a beggar’s vault (who you were) lived the same mistake a million times (underneath) well who said friends are hard to come by? they built a cemetery underneath a beautiful hotel what a prophetic lie to tell guess i could’ve called a truce before they burned the sanctuary down i didn’t really plan it out you wore a crown of ashes and a symphony around your throat ugliest thing i ever wrote come back for the apology that broke its way out of my head prettiest thing i’ve ever said (but it’s not what i meant) i’m a phantom and it’s not your fault (when i saw) made a mansion of a beggar’s vault (who you were) lived the same mistake a million times (underneath) well who said friends are hard to come by? i’m the symptom of a sacred plague (when i made) played the victim ’til it ate my face (up every fate) had the same depraved idea as you (it was all a waste) well who said brilliance was a virtue? i’m the whisper of a thought i’m the joy you bought i’m the cold you should’ve caught i’m the ceiling in the sky i’m unsatisfied i’m the proof you couldn’t find you’re the splinter in the shield you were never real you’re the cut that wouldn’t heal i’m apprentice to a ghost i’m a gracious host i’m the tide that never rose you’re not gone until you’re gone god i hope i’m wrong why would anyone want to live this long? if i’m sinking down i’ll wait it out i’m thinking now i’ll make it out
7.
Reedcutter 04:49
if there’s a chemical in my brain that doesn’t bite i’m gonna find it on my time and god damn what you’re given if there’s no flickering torches lighting up your face i’m gonna cave i’m gonna dig up a good grave i’m gonna put out the nice plates i built a hall with no doors it’s all ceilings and floors i tried to burn it down twice you should’ve seen me in that expiring light i felt the consciousness die outright and now you’re in the grip of a hard night it’s alright but memory made friends with me and dressed me in catastrophe and hopefully you’ll never see i’m at my best when i am asleep if there’s no quickening in your heart when you take flight stop holding out for the real price keep the grief that you’re given if there’s some elegy fighting to escape your throat i’ll keep it slow i’ll count the arteries up close try not to bleed on the nice prose i built a hall with no doors it’s all ceilings and floors i watched it burn out of spite i should’ve held onto that expiring light before the consonants died outright now you went and traded a straight spine for a good sign but memory made friends with me and dressed me in catastrophe and hopefully you’ll never see i’m at my best when i am asleep so the reeds start growing you start cutting them down and the reeds keep growing you keep cutting them down now the reeds are still growing you’re still cutting them down so when the reeds stop growing who the hell are you now? you know the reeds start growing you start cutting them down and then the reeds keep growing you keep cutting them down so the reeds hate growing and you hate cutting them down but when the reeds stop growing who the hell are you now? and this is how you die well you make a pact with yourself you try to grieve the hard nights and then you take all of that expiring light melt it down, forge a knife, kill time then say you put up a good fight but that’s life ‘cause memory made friends with me then threw me from the balcony and pity that you didn’t see i did my best when i was asleep but you called my bet and we watched our bloodstream stop

about

All Songs Written, Recorded & Produced by The Republic Of Wolves
Mixed & Engineered by Nicholas Starrantino at Deadend Studio
Mastered by Mason Maggio
Cover Art by August Matthias Hagen
Layout Designed by Billy Duprey

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released December 12, 2023

The Republic Of Wolves is:
Billy Duprey
Chris Wall
Christian Van Deurs
Mason Maggio

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The Republic Of Wolves New York, New York

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